I MADE A NEW XANGA..... BABIEJ

HIT MEH UP N FEED MEE MADD PROPZ.

-janet<33

01. i hurt: no more
02. i love: dannie
03. i hate: not having him sooner
04. i cry: tears of joy
05. i fear: losing him
06. i hope: he feelz the same way about mee
07. i sadden: when he leaves
08. i feel: loved... finally
09. i kill: everyone in cs ^^v muhhahah (jk i suck)
10. i talk: about dannie too much... can't help it.
11. i listen: to anyone who lets me listen
12. i break: down in tearz...
13. i see: the truth
14. i smell: stoge....
15. i taste: my breakfast
16. i work: .......hahaah never
17. i remember: my past                                                  

18. i hold: him in my heart.. even though hez not hea
19. i hide: nothing... no holding back
20. i pray: everydai
21. i walk: never...
22. i drive: a cadillac.. muhaha
23. i read: the bible
24. i burn: whenever i see that one guy ^^ muhaha
25. i breathe: second hand smoke
26. i play: a lot.
27. i miss: dannie
28. i touch: yoo.
29. i want: dannie
30. i wish: dannie was hea
31. i know: i want dannie so much
32. i said:dannie will you go out wid mee? 
33. i dream: of us together
34. i have: nothing to give you...but.....
36. i fall: in love with yoo more and more everydai
37. i wait: for your answer

time:9:31pm//mood:inlove//thoughts for todai...

the following are words poured out from the deepest of my soul... i didn get this shiet from a song or a book or someone elses song.. these are the words i have to say for one special person....

"boi* lemme get my life strait so I could be a part of yours....I know deep down inside that I don deserve someone like you. Whenever I talk to you and den hang up da phone¡¦ I feel like ive juss Lost a huge part of myself. Juss missing you everyday¡¦hurtz.
But..I promise not to hurt you like ive hurt so many other people¡¦

thank you so much for waiting for me¡¦ no one would've done that for mee but you. Ive never felt this way about anyone¡¦ who am I to have such a great person like you in my life? Im just janet¡¦ im juss this bitch¡¦ im juss nothing compared to what you deserve.

I promise to make each dai happier then the last because I feel like ive been waiting for someone like you forever¡¦

And this iz how the ending begins¡¦.and a new beginning of a story¡¦starts like this¡¦"

time:2:34pm//mood:iunno//thoughts for todai...

aiite so RIGHT after retreat... i feel like shiet again. maybe im juss not tryin hard enough? or maybe tryin too much? i unno wth iz goin on no morez...

i feel like my best friend n i are driftin apart. maybe dass juss awl in my head...buh then again the people i never talked to.. are gettin closer to mee... 

whenever i have a problem and the problem iz almost resolved.... another problem twice az big and twice az bad happenes to mee... dat shyet juss pisses mee off.

buh maybe itz juss the same for eberyone...

time:6:13pm//mood:happi//thoughts for todai...

juss came back from chodae retreat yesterdai...retreat wasn't bad ^.~ it was alot of time for me to think and reflect. so many people had this huge impact on mee, ad now i dunno how imma ever return the favor. so herez a lil bit of what i remember from the retreat...

*haha me and jean had SO much daym food in our room.. we had a whole shelf filled with ritz-bitz. then we had like 10 more bags of doritoz and other chipz

*gettin tighter with everyone..for some reason i could talk to people that i haven't talked to in yearz.

*wOa... still can'r believe that i made up wid caroline. it'll take awhile for both of us not to act so wierd around eachother... but im glad we made up.

*bombing of the guyz roomz.. puuhaha

*hearing that wierd ass scariee ghost noise with randy oppa and rich oppa... daym- i coulnt sleep that night cuz i was alone in ma room.

*havin a lil talk with jasmine unie angela unnie and sarah unnie. (thankx you guyzzz!!!)

*being blessed by God at the LAST minute... the day we leave... daym... it took mee 4 dayz to open up to God.

*watergun fight

*anna smn was tellin us about people at church givin her nasty lookz and people that talk about her n stuff.. and that was mee! Woa... buh iafter the retreat i have a new respect for her... shez one of the best teachers ive had.

*grace ssn... i love you sooooo much!! ... and i respect you juss az much... you told us about how kyung soon iz your role model... buh i bet you didn know youre mine... i look up to you and few other unnies... you changed mee a lot juss by the way you act.

*justin

*pushed into the pool by hobum oppa like 5 times...

*learning how to dive into the water for the first time... muhahaha

can't remeber anymore.... im a lil tired...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and why'd i fall for this person at retreat? i've known him awhile... i unno what it was... juss had to tell him thO... cuz if i didn tell him right then and there.. i didn kno when i was gonna finally tell him. to make it worse... i was bein stoopit and he got pissed at meh... he sez hez not.. buh i could sorta tell her was..

molla.. a lot of shiet happened at retreat...

you know wuh confusses mee? i had to go all the way to a freakin retreat to figure a lot of stuff out...

aiite well.. overall.... i loved the retreat i guess....